


#MakeTinderGreatAgain

by callmebebe



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: I have no idea, M/M, Online Dating, Slice of Life, gaysfortrump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-24
Updated: 2016-10-24
Packaged: 2018-08-24 09:11:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8366602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/callmebebe/pseuds/callmebebe
Summary: Kyungsoo doesn't even like dating sites.





	

**Author's Note:**

> poking fun at the presidential candidates right before the election in the form of a sesoo fic! hope it makes you laugh considering nothing about this election is actually funny. hope you enjoy!!

“Horrible”, Kyungsoo sighs to himself, “what gay man in his right mind supports Donald Trump?” Kyungsoo had been at this for weeks, this tinder situation. A man who actively supports equality and all things of it, Kyungsoo felt as though it was his rightful duty to try and convert at least a few people out of their wrongful supporting of Donald Trump. All of this started when someone he was romantically interested in — and had even been on a few dates with — posted something on his social media in support of the horrible orange tinted, business focused, American presidential candidate. After said incident, he created a tinder account to educate gay men on why supporting Donald Trump is idiotic. He matches with men who have pro-trump bios only to tell them off — which always ends in them blocking him after an uneducated reply. Regardless, he feels accomplished each time. Maybe they’ll realize after a read over, he tells himself. The current man on blast is one that goes by the name of Oh Sehun. His bio reads “Lover of dogs and equality. A happy (and single) member of the LGBTQ+ community and feminist movement. #GaysForTrump”

 

“Why?” he asks his best friend, Chanyeol, “Why are all these gay men idiots? THIS ONE IS EVEN GOOD LOOKING!!! AND EVERYTHNG ELSE IN HIS BIO IS REALLY NICE”

 Chanyeol, completely uninterested — and completely immersed in his phone— replies to the shorter boy, “I really can’t tell you, but you should match him and tell him off. It’s funny when they block you.” Chanyeol stifles a giggle. 

“Shut up,” Kyungsoo sighs, “you know he’s going to deserve my Trump-anti wrath.

 So Kyungsoo does exactly what he has been doing for weeks and likes Sehun’s profile. Sehun matches Kyungsoo immediately and the latter launches into a game plan, but Sehun messages first. Said game plan interrupting message reads, “hey cutie!!!!” with rainbow colored hearts. Kyungsoo has a hard time feigning disinterest due to the very colorful — and slightly adorable — first greeting. 

“CHANYEOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL”

Chanyeol looks up from his phone, “What do you want now?”

“Look at this, this is so cute how am i supposed to tell him off?”

“Just do your social justice thing on him and see how it turns out, maybe it won’t end in a block.”

Much to Kyungsoo's chagrin, it didn’t end in a block, and he has a date with the kid tonight. To recap the last few days, the two have been talking a lot and have quite a bit in common. Kyungsoo did exactly what he always did and started with telling the guy off. Sehun held his ground but changed the subject to something that he knew Kyungsoo liked — from his bio, of course. It seems as though Kyungsoo’s social justice warrior gig isn’t feasible. He surprisingly genuinely likes Sehun — and much like his first impression, thinks he’s cute as all hell. Kyungsoo learned small things about Sehun: Sehun is MUCH taller than Kyungsoo, likes to dance, and has a puppy. (Who can deny a tall man with a puppy, surely not Kyungsoo) Sehun talks for hours and sometimes Kyungsoo just lets him type out a long blurb of thoughts before replying — they have each other’s phone numbers now, tragic. 

While readying himself for his date at a ~fancy~ only dinner-serving restaurant, Kyungsoo dwells on his chagrin. I’m supposed to hold my ground, not let a cute man dull my views, he thinks to himself. Sehun was not at all argumentative, he’s very kind, and Kyungsoo doesn’t understand why as he was under the impression that all Trumpies were homophobic, racist, hateful bastards. Regardless, he’s reached the conclusion that he’s going to give Sehun a piece of his strong-willed mind at this dinner.

Twenty minutes later, Kyungsoo arrives at the entrance of said fancy restaurant. He spots Sehun immediately — he’s terrified of how intimidating the taller man looks, but still knows he needs to hold his ground. 

“Hello,” Sehun starts with an unmoving expression, “you look really nice tonight.”

Kyungsoo observes Sehun fully before replying with slightly larger looking eyes and a, “you too.”

Sehun sniggers and wraps a gangly arm around Kyungsoo as he leads him into the restaurant. The former then leads him into a room where they take off their jackets before entering — it’s THAT fancy. Shit, he means business, Kyungsoo thinks to himself — that is until he catches a side glance of Sehun’s shirt that was under his jacket. His initial hatred of long, pale, and handsome instantly returns. The taller man’s shirt reads, “TRUMP/PENCE MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN”, tragic. 

“Uh, are you sure this restaurant will serve us with your shirt?” Kyungsoo asks, not missing the chance to throw an accusing hand. 

Sehun responds with a laugh in his throat, “I’ve done it before.”

Kyungsoo’s furiousness grows, but he keeps it cool as they finally enter and are lead to their reserved seats, closest to the window with the most beautiful view. In the time they have talked, Sehun has learned that Kyungsoo and him share a favorite wine — merlot — and takes it upon himself to order a bottle for them before they even receive their menus. Their server returns with the bottle of wine, two glasses, two menus, and a dirty look at Sehun for his shirt. Kyungsoo BURSTS with laughter but hides it in the menu. Kyungsoo already knows that he would like a steak and takes the time Sehun is using to decide to challenge him. 

“You’re really not embarrassed to be wearing that abomination of a shirt in such a nice place? People like you have no shame.” Kyungsoo tests. 

“People like me? You mean smart, beautiful gay men who don’t let people who believe everything the internet tells them change their opinions?” Sehun dares.

“Why are you ridiculous? You’re literally the definition of a perfect man but you’re an IDIOT who knows nothing, besides how to earn money apparently because i could never afford to come here.”

“You’re right, I’m just as smart with money as my man Donald.”

“Are you going to sexually harass me like your role model did too? Let me guess, you’re not actually gay because you don’t even care that he has no ounce of care for the rights you deserve.”

“I’m definitely a gay man otherwise I wouldn’t be so into you even when you’re making a scene and making me look like a fool. But his views on that don’t matter to me, what matters is how he’s going to make America how it was meant to be.”

“We don’t even live in America……” Kyungsoo mumbles.

“What was that? Speak up please, Soo.”

Kyungsoo throws his deep red wine at Sehun’s bleach white Trump shirt all while screaming, “DON’T CALL ME THAT! I JUST CAN’T FATHOM HOW YOU’RE A GAY FEMINIST AND YOU’RE COMPLETELY UNFAZED BY WHAT THIS HORRIBLE MAN SAYS? WE DON’T EVEN LIVE IN AMERICA, WHAT HE DOES THERE DOESN’T MATTER, WHAT MATTERS IS HIS HORRIBLE CHARACTER AND WE SHOULD BE WORRIED ABOUT HAVING SOMEONE LIKE HIM IN THIS WORLD!”

By the end of his yelled statement, the whole restaurant is looking at them, their server has returned, Sehun has a merlot stain on his disgusting shirt, and Kyungsoo has tears welling up in his eyes. The shorter panics and flees to the bathroom. Sehun takes it upon himself to order for the both of them, he remembers Kyungsoo saying how he loves steak, as well as how he likes it cooked — ideal, indeed. After the server retreats, Sehun rushes to meet with Kyungsoo in the bathroom. Upon entering, he hears sobs upon sobs. The crying doesn’t halt until Sehun knocks on the door he hears them coming from. 

“Occupied!” Kyungsoo replies to the knock through bated breaths. 

“Kyungsoo, it’s me. I’m sorry to upset you, please come out there’s something I actually need to admit to you.” Sehun replies calmly.

Kyungsoo peeks his head out from the stall and looks as Sehun as if to say “go ahead.”

“No, please come out here I want to talk to you correctly.” 

Kyungsoo steps fully out of the stall and heads straight to the sinks to splash his face with water before facing Sehun.

“I’m ready.” Kyungsoo nods.

“Okay, so the thing is, I lied. I don’t actually support Trump.” Kyungsoo chokes before Sehun can continue, and Sehun begins fiddling around with his fingers, something Kyungsoo learned to be a nervous feat of Sehun’s.

“I’ve been trying to match with you on tinder for months, you’ve had the account for longer than just for educating idiots, I know that because I’ve seen you before on there. Anyways, I liked you so many times and you always turned me down, so I gave up. But then, my idiotic Trump supporter friends started talking about some social justice dude who was matching with them to tell them off. They even sent screenshots to our groupchat that was formed to talk about our Dungeons and Dragons strategies,” Sehun pauses as Kyungsoo giggles at the mention of Dungeons and Dragons, “It was you, and then I formed a plan.”

“You didn’t….” Kyungsoo has fully calmed by now. 

“I made a new Facebook to make a new tinder so I could match with you. I used all different photos in case you noticed it was me and added something about Trump in my bio, knowing you would match with me to confront me. I really took my chances in hoping I could get you to be interested in me besides me sounding like an idiot with both “feminist” and “#GaysForTrump” in my bio. To add, any gay that supports Trump is braindead, you’re right on that. My luck was good and here we are. I’m hoping we can start fresh after this, I also ordered your steak because I remembered you liked it and how you like it done. I’m going to go get my jacket, please don’t hate me.” Sehun finishes in a turned down expression, much similar to that of cower. 

“That is the sweetest but also most snake-like thing I have ever heard. You really went through all of that to meet me? Let me guess, you bought that shirt too? And you probably don’t even have enough money for this dinner, right?” Kyungsoo challenges Sehun for the second time tonight, but this time in a more light-hearted manner. 

“You owe me for the shirt, I was going to sell it,” Sehun frowns, “and no, this dinner is being paid for by my entire food budget for this month, so we better enjoy it. But does this mean we’re okay?” 

“Yes, just please go get that jacket. I’ll meet you at the table.” 

 

The night finishes in Kyungsoo’s apartment, — five minutes away from Sehun’s dorms — cuddled up on his couch watching horror movies with full stomachs. 


End file.
